(not) feeling christmassy

i am just not feeling christmassy.

yet.

perhaps it's due to the fact that there are just too many things to do before my cuti can start (husband is already on "leave". i am jealous of teachers for this sole reason - the fact that they have school holidays - very much like the times when i was a kid).

or perhaps it's due to the fact that we are just so far away from our extended family and relatives. ok, maybe not that far. after all, some people still do think of labuan as being part of sabah. well, so far or not that far still means relatively the same here. the fact of the matter is this: they're not here with us. and everyone knows how our family can make or break a christmas.

or perhaps it's due to the many (personal) problems which i am facing at the moment.

or

maybe it's due to the simple thing of not having a christmas tree put up at home?

well.

i know all about how christ is the center of christmas. i know it, and i believe it. it's just that right now, my faith is not reflected in whatever i'm doing or even thinking.

dear lord,

"my soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me and teach me your laws" ~ psalm 119:28-29