an "oh-crap" day

morning's gonna be crappy. i know.


shites!


i hate.

i beg your pardon?

pic taken at labuan airport

safe sex?

my mobile has decided to stop having unprotected sex.

the twins

lata and tini, trying to get in the house by showing their oh-so-perfect behaviour.

lata: tini, tini, kalau kita pura2 tidur ni mangkali durang kasian sama kita ni kan...

tini: sia pun rasa begitu ooo... cuba mai kita buat muka manja2 kasian kita tu...

lata and tini, our twin puppies. we call them twins as they look absolutely alike, well, except for their "socks" - lata has more kecik socks compared to tini. like all puppies, they love food and love being nakal.

kiut kan.

imagine...

imagine

john lennon

imagine there's no heaven
it's easy if you try
no hell below us
above us only sky
imagine all the people
living for today...

imagine there's no countries

it isn't hard to do

nothing to kill or die for

and no religion too

imagine all the people

living life in peace...

you may say i'm a dreamer

but i'm not the only one

i hope someday you'll join us

and the world will be as one

imagine no possessions

i wonder if you can

no need for greed or hunger

a brotherhood of man

imagine all the people

sharing all the world...

you may say i'm a dreamer

but i'm not the only one

i hope someday you'll join us

and the world will live as one

happy easter

received this message through sms.

thought we could all do a little reflection.

holy week brings us to reflect

sometimes, god breaks our spirit to save our soul

sometimes, he breaks our heart to make us whole

sometimes, he sends us pain so we can be stronger

sometimes, he sends us failure so we can be humble

sometimes he sends us illness so we can take better care of ourselves

sometimes, he takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything we have.

have a blessed easter everyone!

... kenangan di musim pilihanraya ...

i had fond memories of the recent pilihanraya.

nope, i am not talking of the kemeriahan kempen-kempen, the janji-janji made to the people, nor am i talking about the first "less than 2/3 majority" win of barisan nasional in 50 years. i am also not talking about the parliament line-up that was announced a few days ago (that already felt like years ago - burrriinnggggg bah), which saw some ahem changes to the usual crowd. no. tidak. sia bukan cakap pasal semua tu. macam si tai-tai kan!

undi anda adalah rahsia.

rather (cue dramatic drum roll), i am referring to my first venture into the mengundi hoopla. yup, it was my first time doing the pangkah thing in that lil' cubicle. it was also my first time being scolded by the police.

hahaha.

you see, i was with my bro and cousin that day. all three of us mimang baru pertama kali la pigi mengundi. in the midst of our excitement and oh, with just-a-little-dash-of-tagasness, kami lupa la pula mo kasi kurang sikit itu volume suara.

my bro was in the middle of his "eee nanti time sia mengundi kamu jan lupa ambil gambar sia kama, misti, kenangan bah ni first time pigi mengundi, blah blah blah" moment. as i was getting my camera out (sambil survey2 angle yg sesuai mo ambil gambar).....

tiba-tiba.

ahem. sekius me. buli ka kamu jan tlampau bising. urang tia dengar apa yang kena cakap tu.

turned my pretty little head towards the voice.

ala, pulis la pula.

with our award winning senyuman kambing, we muttered our apologies and shut up. tapi ada juga la terkeluar sikit-sikit tu ngingis ngadits kami.

now, whenever people talk about the pilihanraya, i remember not the candidates' faces, but the pulismen's kunun-kunun fierce face.

koboloh bah kami.

missing my other half

i miss my husband.

no.

i seriously (seriously) miss my husband.

it's hard being apart from your other half. harder yet when you can't even talk to each other as often as you would like to. not being able to share your joy and pain as they happen. not being able to share your excitement at the things happening around you. to only see him during school holidays (shikes!).

yeah. hard, kan. tambah2 lagi ada urg yg tidak sensitif langsung pasal perasaan urg ni.... balik2 tanya bila mo dapat baby and KENAPA LAMBAT MO PROSES? takkan kamu tiada bercakap langsung.. takkan tiada telefon, takkan tiada internet, takkan tiada ni tiada tu, ah tia percaya la..... like hello.... have you no idea where pensiangan is? you think in england is it?

yo, people. i can't even talk (let alone make love) to him due to him being so jauh - he is after all teaching in some ulu place, with no telephone lines and no internet connection (kalau sia bilang tiada line tu, tiada la bah, takkan kami sengaja tia mo bercakap) and you expect me to get pregnant like how? masturbate myself to pregnancy is it? and to those who said: bah sementara dia ada sana kamu proses la bah, takkan mo lambat2, kamu tu brapa suda umur? - huh wtf? so kenapa la. besides, ingat ni kilang ka buli kasi program supaya once buat, trus dapat. sot. warning: in my geramness, i may have embellished and exaggerated a few details. but you get the gist.

i miss my husband.

p/s: to family and friends who have been so kind and understanding, thank you.

hallelujah

absolutely love this song!

hallelujah
written by leonard cohen, cover done by allison crowe
sia copy dari youtube

of forgiveness and starting new

went to confession today.

felt the burden in my heart hilang sikit.

15 minutes later.....

silaka....... there's that irritatingly idiotic stupido person - who shall remain nameless - again!

i could just hear my mom's voice in my head asking me : apa dii guna ko pigi mangakun tu kalau mimang ko masih ada hati mo banci-banci urang?

why indeed.

forgive me, lord.